But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
