I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
