Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
