I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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