My balls are so social today.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
