you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
