So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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