can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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