It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Let's get the cat blown out
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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