So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
