Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I just blew my weed a kiss
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize