the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize