Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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