Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Randomize
