a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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