So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
