why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
