i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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