Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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