apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
no you cant smoke seaweed
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
