When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Gay?
German.
Pity.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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