i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
