A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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