Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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