Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
