just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
