I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
