When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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