Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
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