if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize