yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize