but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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