Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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