He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
