she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
