You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
