Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
