well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
