Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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