Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
