you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
