Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I love you.
Bad choice
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
