Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
