____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
