Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
