Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
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