Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
