i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
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