btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Buhtt sex?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
These tits shall not be calmed
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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