Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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