Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
whose parrot is this?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
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