Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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