Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
