i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
