So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
