Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
