O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
