Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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