38 yer olds are good kisserssss
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
