WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
