no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Your penis caused this!
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
