make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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