I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Barsexuality is the new black.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
