Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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